I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
