Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
