my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
false alarm, still single
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
