Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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