The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
