He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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