You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
