Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just want to make out with him forever
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
