Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
