actually, I'm a sock model
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
