I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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