Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
