if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
