Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
