Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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