I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
false alarm, still single
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
