Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
