What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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