and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
