In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
