Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just invented taco cereal.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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