Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
