I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
