U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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