I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
