Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
