spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
