Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
