and you said cock pushups were impossible
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
