Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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