just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
