weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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