He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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