just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
