Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
