I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
