It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
