This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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