no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
