Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize