He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
