The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
