id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
