i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
