Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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