you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize