you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
