I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
