He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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