i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
