In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
