I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
