I think I am morally bankrupt
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
