If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
