i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
