Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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