You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
