sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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