i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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