I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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