Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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