would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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