you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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