Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
