I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My ass is underappreciated
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
