Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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