exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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