Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Where did you get a picture of my penis
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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