Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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