Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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