just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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