Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Even my vagina gasped.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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