Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
