glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
