Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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