He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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