peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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