I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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