David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
