R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
