I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Someone came in the potted fern
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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