I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
